It's been exactly (I think...) a year since I started going to Lighthouse. It's weird to think it's been that long. I love the church. To be honest, I didn't think I would be able to ever say those words while I was away at college. How could I forsake my beloved CCAC? But, I love this church with my whole heart.
I love the purple unicorn who's head and horn are still visible on the stage during the worship service despite the giant black screen that is used in attempts to block it. I love the cheesy names that all of the ministries have with words associated with light. Flashlights. Beacon, L.I.G.H.T. Gloworms. I love how there are a zillion children at church. Even if they do weird things like flipping their eyelids...they're so cute! I love the church family. They're kind and caring and fun! I really love the preaching, it's always solid.
Mostly though, I love the church because it helps me love God more.
I'm excited to see what God has planned for this year at church. The congregation is growing. Beacon staff is changing. New college kids are coming in. So exciting! I'm so blessed to be there to see what happens.
I love the church.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Dear Diary...
I have never written those words in my entire life...I don't think anyways...
While cleaning my room, I inevitably have to clean out my bookshelves. Random things get stuffed and hidden in there; old papers, mail, socks, and my books get all disheveled looking. The place where I keep all of my journals was especially crazy since I hadn't really reorganized them since they were last pulled out and thrown in a box when my family was evacuated because of the fires during my freshman year at UCI.
I started journaling regularly on Monday, August 26, 2002 when I was in 8th grade and haven't stopped since. Fourteen daily journals and three missions/ traveling ones full of exactly what was going on in my life at those times; how things were in the family, my grades, who I liked, what my homework was, the temperature, anything and almost everything is logged in those things. I think my journals are some of the more sentimental things that I own. I remember during those fires, I called home and mom asked what I wanted them to pack for me. "O MY GOSH! GRAB MY JOURNALS!!! I don't care about anything else!" To this day my dad and sisters are all, "What the heck! Don't make us bring those things! They're too heavy!" My precious memories are of little value to them. I'm not sure exactly why my attachment to them is so great. It's not like I frequently sit and read through them, they certainly are not filled with the most profound thoughts, and I probably wont pass them down to my progeny. But, I like them.
The rare occasions that I do skim through my journals, I have mixed emotions. Mostly of embarrassment because I was so dumb and also of thankfulness and gratitude to God for His grace in my life. Reading through my journals, God's work in my life is evident even if it wasn't apparent then, it is now. I'm a pretty consistent journaler, rarely missing more than a week's worth of journal entries and for the most part my entries are fairly detailed. I don't know why I journal like this, but I am glad that I do. It makes it super easy to look back and see how I was/am being sanctified, prayers answered, and God's hand in it all. I can read and see what an angsty, selfish, prideful, impatient, worldly 8th grader I was and then see the change as God drew me nearer to Himself and matured me. My choice in journals has even matured!
This time as I was skimming through them, I got a little sad. Over and over again I have to pray, "God help me be more aware of Your grace in my life. Draw me nearer to Christ and the cross." You would think that after so many years I would have figured out how to keep the gospel at the forefront of my mind & that Christ would be the motivation for all that I do. But I'm dumb and haven't, not completely anyways. Reading my old entries I can see how my my thoughts and actions are slowly moving towards a more christlike direction, but yes, progress is slow.
There really isn't a rational reason for me to keep my journals around or to make my family pack them up when they have to evacuate. But they are testaments of God's grace and faithfulness in my life transforming me from "one degree of glory to another". I think I will keep them around a little longer.
While cleaning my room, I inevitably have to clean out my bookshelves. Random things get stuffed and hidden in there; old papers, mail, socks, and my books get all disheveled looking. The place where I keep all of my journals was especially crazy since I hadn't really reorganized them since they were last pulled out and thrown in a box when my family was evacuated because of the fires during my freshman year at UCI.
I started journaling regularly on Monday, August 26, 2002 when I was in 8th grade and haven't stopped since. Fourteen daily journals and three missions/ traveling ones full of exactly what was going on in my life at those times; how things were in the family, my grades, who I liked, what my homework was, the temperature, anything and almost everything is logged in those things. I think my journals are some of the more sentimental things that I own. I remember during those fires, I called home and mom asked what I wanted them to pack for me. "O MY GOSH! GRAB MY JOURNALS!!! I don't care about anything else!" To this day my dad and sisters are all, "What the heck! Don't make us bring those things! They're too heavy!" My precious memories are of little value to them. I'm not sure exactly why my attachment to them is so great. It's not like I frequently sit and read through them, they certainly are not filled with the most profound thoughts, and I probably wont pass them down to my progeny. But, I like them.
The rare occasions that I do skim through my journals, I have mixed emotions. Mostly of embarrassment because I was so dumb and also of thankfulness and gratitude to God for His grace in my life. Reading through my journals, God's work in my life is evident even if it wasn't apparent then, it is now. I'm a pretty consistent journaler, rarely missing more than a week's worth of journal entries and for the most part my entries are fairly detailed. I don't know why I journal like this, but I am glad that I do. It makes it super easy to look back and see how I was/am being sanctified, prayers answered, and God's hand in it all. I can read and see what an angsty, selfish, prideful, impatient, worldly 8th grader I was and then see the change as God drew me nearer to Himself and matured me. My choice in journals has even matured!
This time as I was skimming through them, I got a little sad. Over and over again I have to pray, "God help me be more aware of Your grace in my life. Draw me nearer to Christ and the cross." You would think that after so many years I would have figured out how to keep the gospel at the forefront of my mind & that Christ would be the motivation for all that I do. But I'm dumb and haven't, not completely anyways. Reading my old entries I can see how my my thoughts and actions are slowly moving towards a more christlike direction, but yes, progress is slow.There really isn't a rational reason for me to keep my journals around or to make my family pack them up when they have to evacuate. But they are testaments of God's grace and faithfulness in my life transforming me from "one degree of glory to another". I think I will keep them around a little longer.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Safety Nets.
CCM does this [weird] thing where after the speaker gives the message we discuss it with people around us for like 15 min. I remember this one time I was talking about the message that the speaker had just given on the sufficiency of Christ vs. the insufficiency of the OT sacrificial system, and I wanted to fight this one guy. OK, maybe not physically, but with my words I wanted to blast him. First, he started out by saying "I've very knowledgeable in the sacrificial system." Ok, I might think those things a lot of times, that I know more than the Average Joe, but I don't freaking say it out loud. Anyways. So right off the bat I wanted to smack that guy. But then he went on and on about how thinking too much about the sufficiency of Christ lessens the weight of sin and cheapens grace, that Christians use it as a safety net. That is when I all crazy (which probably was not the best thing...I need to be more gracious...)
Today, I was doing my QT (I am still on that one year Bible reading plan...except it's been almost 2 years........). I'm almost done. I have a lot of the historical books to read, some of the prophets, the last half of Acts & Revelation. Ok, that is actually a lot. Freak. But I digress!
I finished the Law today. Got through Leviticus and ended Deuteronomy. Dude, can I just say that reading all that is freaking burdensome. And scary! It's not even merely a list of do's and don'ts. It's do this or be cursed. Do this or die. It's serious business.
"..if you do not obey the voice of the LORD your God or be careful to do all his commandments and his statutes that I command you today, then all these curses shall come upon you and overtake you."
There are some freaking crazy curses in there!!!
I was reading and thinking, "O my gosh! I couldn't do that! I can't do that! If I lived back then in OT times I would have for sure been annihilated!"
And then, I was reminded that I do not live in the OT times and that I have an all sufficient Saviour.
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh , could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."
I have a safety net in Jesus who is far greater than my own efforts to keep every single commandment. He's the only one keeping me from falling into the pits of Hell and nothing I have done, can do, or will do will ever contribute to that. And I am so thankful! I am freed from the Law!
I understand a little what that one guy in CCM was saying...kind of...even the Christians writing to Paul had problems, "Should we continue to sin that grace may abound???" Misunderstood and misapplied the superiority of Christ to the Law could allow for a cheapening of grace and a weak view of sin.
But rightly understood, I think it makes both, grace and sin, much much greater.
Grace is great because I shouldn't be freed from the Law. I should have to keep every commandment. God is holy. I should obey perfectly. But graciously, through Christ, I am freed from the punishment of the Law. No longer do I need to worry about being cursed or killed for disobeying. And in the same vein, sin becomes greater because my sin was placed upon Christ. He suffered my punishment for my disobedience. I know the worth and weight of my sin. It cost God his Son. It cost my guiltless, sinless, Saviour his life.
So yes, I do use Christ as a safety net. But it is imperative that I do because he is all I have.
Today, I was doing my QT (I am still on that one year Bible reading plan...except it's been almost 2 years........). I'm almost done. I have a lot of the historical books to read, some of the prophets, the last half of Acts & Revelation. Ok, that is actually a lot. Freak. But I digress!
I finished the Law today. Got through Leviticus and ended Deuteronomy. Dude, can I just say that reading all that is freaking burdensome. And scary! It's not even merely a list of do's and don'ts. It's do this or be cursed. Do this or die. It's serious business.
"..if you do not obey the voice of the LORD your God or be careful to do all his commandments and his statutes that I command you today, then all these curses shall come upon you and overtake you."
There are some freaking crazy curses in there!!!
I was reading and thinking, "O my gosh! I couldn't do that! I can't do that! If I lived back then in OT times I would have for sure been annihilated!"
And then, I was reminded that I do not live in the OT times and that I have an all sufficient Saviour.
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh , could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."
I have a safety net in Jesus who is far greater than my own efforts to keep every single commandment. He's the only one keeping me from falling into the pits of Hell and nothing I have done, can do, or will do will ever contribute to that. And I am so thankful! I am freed from the Law!
I understand a little what that one guy in CCM was saying...kind of...even the Christians writing to Paul had problems, "Should we continue to sin that grace may abound???" Misunderstood and misapplied the superiority of Christ to the Law could allow for a cheapening of grace and a weak view of sin.
But rightly understood, I think it makes both, grace and sin, much much greater.
Grace is great because I shouldn't be freed from the Law. I should have to keep every commandment. God is holy. I should obey perfectly. But graciously, through Christ, I am freed from the punishment of the Law. No longer do I need to worry about being cursed or killed for disobeying. And in the same vein, sin becomes greater because my sin was placed upon Christ. He suffered my punishment for my disobedience. I know the worth and weight of my sin. It cost God his Son. It cost my guiltless, sinless, Saviour his life.
So yes, I do use Christ as a safety net. But it is imperative that I do because he is all I have.
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