O2

He who forgets the humming of the bees among the heather, the cooing of the wood-pigeons in the forest, the song of birds in the woods, the rippling of rills among the rushes, and the sighing of the wind among the pines, needs not wonder if his heart forgets to sing and his soul grows heavy. A day's breathing of fresh air upon the hills, or a few hours, ramble in the beech woods’ umbrageous calm, would sweep the cobwebs out of the brain of scores of our toiling ministers who are now but half alive. A mouthful of sea air, or a stiff walk in the wind's face, would not give grace to the soul, but it would yield oxygen to the body, which is next best. -CHS

Watson.

"Thus let us endeavour to make the name of God glorious and renowned. If God seek our good, let us seek His glory. If He make all things tend to our edification, let us make all things tend to His exaltation."

Chicken Fried!

"I thank God for my life

And for the stars and stripes

May freedom forever fly

Let it ring.

Salute the ones who died

The ones who gave their lives

So we don't have to sacrifice

All the things we love...

Like our chicken fried

Cold beer on Friday night

A pair of jeans that fit just right

And the radio up"

He's Alive!

With the graduation quickly approaching and the uncertain future getting closer and closer, a lot of my prayers and thoughts are always efforts to remind myself that "God is sovereign", "God is good", and "God has a good plan for you". When those fail to bring comfort (because my faith is small and I suck...) as if those promises weren't enough, I remind myself that, "At least you have salvation". And sometimes even that fails to warm my heart and bring comfort to my anxious soul.


This morning, I started thinking about all the things I needed to do for the day, for the week, within the coming month, etc., and I started to freak out. Classes to study for. Small groups to plan for. Graduation to plan for. Sick people to pray for. People to email. So much junk to do! I found myself repeating the same mantra to myself I've been saying more and more and more as of late, "God is sovereign. God is good." Still anxious and worried and stressed, I checked my googlereader (I love googlereader! When I wake up in the morning, sometimes it's the first thing I do...even before going to the bathroom or brushing my teeth...)


Anyway, Sovereign Grace just released a new CD, Risen, and I've been waiting for it to go on sale for $5 since Rick Holland tweeted about it. Finally, Risen is on sale for $5! For some reason my paypal thing is being weird so I will have to wait to download the whole thing later, but you can download "Jesus Lives" (one of the tracks from the album) for free! Get it!

Downloaded the song and listened to it on the way to campus. Listening to the lyrics, I'm not going to lie, I got a little teary. The chorus goes like this:
Jesus lives and so shall I
I'll be raised from the dust with Christ on high
Jesus lives no more to die
And when He returns with Him I'll rise
Jesus lives


The reason why "God is sovereign. God is good" hasn't been relieving my worries is because I am looking for a temporal fix to my uncertain future. When I think "God is sovereign. God is good.", I am really thinking "God is going to get me a job or get me into some school." "God is going to find me friends once I leave Irvine." God is going to do all this junk for me because it's "His plan and He is good." Not only am I presuming on His grace, but I'm only looking like 50 yards ahead of me.


Easter is around the corner and there's a big push to look to the cross, to remember Christ's sacrifice for our sins. To which I would say, "Yes! We should!" The cross is super important! But more often than not, the resurrection gets little to no attention. It's like this little added thing that just gets appended to the cross. Even in my own brain, Jesus' being alive now is just a nice afterthought.


No wonder even when trying to look to God Himself, His sovereignty and goodness, I still freak out. I'm treating Him like some magical genie. I'm not looking to Eternity. I forget that God does not owe me a comfortable or good life here on earth. I forget and take lightly the fact that He has promised life after forever. Dude! There is so much hope and joy and comfort in that! Jesus is alive and so shall I! It's not, "At least I have salvation." It's, "I have salvation!!!"

Grace Upon Grace

-Sleep.
-Reregistering for classes and getting the ones I needed.
-Target gift card.
-Cat videos.
-Birthday pizza.
-Watson's writings.

Jumping on the bandwagon.

Everyone and their mom is talking about Rob Bell and his new book.


I have a question that no one is asking--is it just me or does he wear the same outfit all the time?


Interview with Lisa Miller

In good company.

"Watson was one of the most concise, racy, illustrative, and suggestive of those eminent divines who made the Puritan age the Augustan period of evangelical literature. There is a happy union of sound doctrine, heart-searching experience and practical wisdom in all his works." --CHS


Watson was racy too.

Grace Upon Grace

- Sleep.
- Good coffee.
- Almost getting hugged by some random stranger after he found out I was Japanese because he felt so sad for Japan.
- Time in the Word.
- Christian Lit.
- 85 to kill time so I could park in a closer lot on campus.
- Sweats and gonorrhea for my birthday from my small group.
- Seeing a code and remembering patients are people.

"The Ultimate Aim of Serving Others"

Cancer and comfort.

Right now it feels like everyone has cancer. It's hard to minister to people--or it's hard to know how best to minister to them. 
As a christian, I don't know how to console my non-believing friends. I don't feel comfortable telling them things will be ok because in my heart I know that death that awaits them, or their parents, or their friends will not bring and end to their suffering but suffering beyond compare. I can't tell them that God is sovereign and that God is good because they either don't believe in God or they will not understand how a god who kills their parent or friend or brother or sister is good and loving. 
Cancer has become so common that we toss the word around like it's no big deal. We use it in our household vernacular along with chemotherapy, chemo, radiation, bone marrow transplant, etc. Maybe we are shocked at first, but cancer has been relegated to something small like a cold. Chemo, radiation, and all these other procedures are the equivalent to taking some vitamins or something. Ugh. I want to shake people. Cancer is no small thing. It is an evil monster. It can cause an organ to fail. It can spread to other places. It can eliminate your body's own defenses against cancer itself and other diseases. It is no small thing. So on top of the spiritual side of things, thanks to my UCI education, I don't know how to minister to these people as a future healthcare professional because I see the ailments and diseases these people are suffering from and I know that the prognosis is not good.
I feel helpless and every situation seems hopeless. But, it's because, "I don't believe in God, I believe in science." I have more trust and belief that science is right than I do in God being God. Not that God will necessarily heal these people, but that he is sovereign and he is good and he is God. My non-Christian friends might not be able to take comfort in that, but I can find ultimate comfort there.
On Wednesday, I visited one of my friends from jr. high, high school, and college at UCI Med. Center. He's there because a month ago he was diagnosed with leukemia. He's not a christian so I was trying to ask these probing questions to try and move the conversation toward more spiritual things (I failed...but that is for another time). I asked him something along the lines of how he's been holding up or something and he said, "Pretty good. I mean, I'm not dead." I forget how the conversation went after that...not the way I wanted it to that is for sure...I didn't get to share the gospel. But, while I was driving back I couldn't get over what he said. There he was all confined to a small hospital room for the past month, getting poked and prodded, having to put his dreams of med school on hold, being all immunocompromised, and he still could say it was better than death. What? If a pagan can say this how much more should I be able to?
Ministering to sick, broken, dying people is not easier because we toss God, his sovereignty or the gospel into the mix. It is emotionally and spiritually draining. My heart is still heavy and I am still sad. Emotions don't disappear when God comes on the scene. But there is great comfort in knowing that, "I'm not dead." Being physically alive means that God is not yet done with me. I still have "things to do, places to go, people to see." More than that, spiritually alive means the gospel applies to me. My sins are forgiven, not only am I saved from God's wrath but I am able to find ultimate comfort in him. That's the hope I can share with the dying world, the best way I can minister to my sad, cancer affected friends. I can care for their souls. More than an improbable hope for healing or cure, I can offer them a hope for salvation.


Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee


Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.-Psalm 62:1-2