God's grace made manifest through the family.

After almost a month away from home and my beloved CCAC, I finally returned this weekend. I missed being home. Sleeping in my own bed. Having infinite amounts of ice cream at my disposal. The comfort of my own backyard to tan my pale self. Mostly, I like being home and spending time with the family (I know...I'm a homebody...and I am ok with that.) Messing with my parents and annoying my sisters brings me so much joy.

But all joking aside, being able to go home after a stressful month made me so thankful for my family. I was really able to see how gracious God has been to me in allowing me to be part of my family, as crazy and wild they might be. And so that has prompted me to do a short series. Primarily for myself, it will give me a chance to really examine and appreciate God's faithful, sovereign grace in my life made manifest through my family.

And so to kick it off, I will begin with the most recent manifestation--Allison's baptism.

One of my 3 younger sisters, Allison, "the third Harada", is four years younger than me. A sophomore in high school, she just went to her first prom and is just finishing up her 2nd season of swim on the varsity team. She's a super gifted artist with a "spunky" personality that few can handle and fully appreciate. And today she got baptized.

If you were to have met her last year you probably wouldn't have ever thought this day would have come unless some crazy divine intervention occurred. It was tough times for her and the family, but like I said, God is faithful and gracious. Today, my sister is not only alive physically by the grace of God but by that same grace she also has life eternal.

I asked her if I could post her testimony, so here it is. It's also here at the church website.

Hi, I’m Allison, for those that don’t know me, I been at CCAC for about 6 years, but I’ve been exposed to the Bible and church my whole life.  I didn’t really understand it all, and I surely didn’t see what a blessing it was, when I was younger. I called myself a Christian, but I merely believed whatever I was taught.  God loved me and I should love Him too.  I didn’t understand the significance of the Cross or the unfathomable measures of God’s grace, and it showed in the way I lived.  I didn’t live like Christ died for me, but instead like He owed me something.

 

Up until Jr. High, I had never questioned whether or not I was a Christian; I did good things.  Or rather, I never did anything too bad, and figured that that would be enough for God, that He should be happy that I wasn’t super bad.  However, as I first started to pave the way for the nickname “the rebel Harada” by mixing in with the wrong group, I asked myself if I really loved God.  I would hear sermons about how we should “be amazed at the glory of God”.  I wasn’t amazed, I wasn’t awestruck; but I didn’t want to believe I wasn’t a Christian.  So, I stopped questioning and kept on living my life with a hardened heart and a false, selfish Gospel that could never save me.  Though, I suppressed the doubt in my mind, God kept reminding me of His importance, though I tried to ignore it, as I struggled the next year.

 

At the start of high school, I immediately faced difficulty.  Everything seemed so much harder and I was inadequate and overwhelmed.  I felt lonely, tired and angry; I never trusted God enough with my life to not worry.  I began inflicting pain upon myself and it got to a point where I thought that suicide was the only answer.  I was in trouble, but my pride told me that I could get through it. So I wore a smile everywhere I went, pretending to be what I thought people wanted to me to be.  Sitting through classes, church, and Branching Out like nothing was wrong, all the while being truly miserable.  I blamed everyone around me for not being there for me, for not loving me, for me wanting to die.

So, I kept asking God why He was doing this to me.  Hadn’t I done enough for Him?  Wasn’t I good enough?  I loved Him, why didn’t He love me?  Somewhere in my head, I knew I didn’t love God.  I only loved myself.  I wasn’t thankful for the work He had done on the Cross, and the fact that He died for my sins meant nothing to me other than, as Allen says, a “Get out of Jail Free card”.  I was so selfish and prideful; I was living Ephesians 2:1 and truly “dead in my trespasses and sins” and it hit me like a train.  I didn’t know what to do, so I prayed a familiar prayer that I had once said with empty words and a shallow heart, this time with an understanding of my disgusting sin against God and a longing for His forgiveness and a life of following Him.  Purely by His grace, God broke me so that I could finally realize that He alone could heal me.  That to lose myself was to gain an infinitely greater Christ.

As my friend Katherine and I were preparing our testimonies to share with you today, we took a look back at our journals from when we were unsaved.  We both concluded that they were filled with “stupid stuff” like “blah blah whiny me me me”.  Oh, how I’d like to slap my unsaved-self.  Thankfully, God allowed me to recognize that I was selfish and I wasn’t good enough, no one is good enough, but GOD.  The words that Ps. Danny repeated over and over at Reality Retreat I had clicked at last. Everything that all the pastors had been trying to drill in my head finally clicked!  I comprehended the reality of the urgency they spoke with every Sunday and Friday, and I’m so thankful that they did.  I’m so grateful that God chose these men to lead me and continue to teach me, especially in youth group.  I don’t know what kinds of shenanigans I would have gotten into, or if I’d even be alive right now if it weren’t for that “but God”.  I’m now grateful for the trials that God put me through during that year and the pain I went through because He humbled me and brought me to Him.  CS Lewis said “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”  He is absolutely right, and I have found peace and joy in Christ, my Savior.