Rooted.

Rooted was amazing.

This week Tiffany, Kristin, and I read chapter 3 in "The Doctrine of Repentance" by Thomas Watson. Chapter 3 focused on 3 of 6 "ingredients" for true repentance-- sight of sin, sorrow for sin, and confession of sin. We talked a lot about how we don't take sin seriously; how, if at the end of the day you asked us how we sinned we wouldn't be able to tell you. Shameful. Or rather, I am shameless. Shamelessly sinning without caring to recognize the consequences or the gravity of my sin. I take my sin way too lightly and that keeps me from fully appreciating the Gospel and from loving Christ as I should.

"The more bitterness we taste in sin, the more sweetness we shall taste in Christ."

After reading that this week I resolved to be more aware of my sin. And I was. It was pretty depressing. I'm glad I am more conscious of how I abuse God's grace, but I am the worst. I sin so much!

But Waston was right. Scripture is right. It is not until we see ourselves as we really are that we can see Christ as He truly is. It's amazing to see God's perfect timing at work. It was good that I studied repentance, good that I was made aware of how unaware of my sin I was. I'm glad that I was able to become shamed over my own sinfulness. And glad that this was all before Rooted.

Rooted was amazing. Not because the band was crazy (which they were), or because Denise's testimony made me tear up (which it did), or because I was so happy to be back at CCAC (which I was), or because Eric's Gospel presentation was so convicting (which it was). Rooted was amazing because everything pointed back to Christ and the cross. 

How much "more meaningful" the Gospel is when you know what you have been saved from and how undeserving you are! O, that the Gospel would continue to pierce my heart and that through a clear view of my sin and wretchedness with Gospel tinted lenses, I would grow to cherish and love Christ all the more.

T.

The why of the blog and the what-does-it- mean of the title.

I'm not going to lie. I am super nervous about writing this first entry. I'm not sure why. It was pretty stressful getting the courage to make this blog and even more stressful thinking of a title/url address. This is way more serious than Xanga.

 

So, why start a blog now? Part of the reason i started this, particularly this afternoon, was because I did not want to do O.Chem practice problems nor did I want to read for Asian American Studies. Another reason I started this was because it was time for a new one. I've been on Xanga since I was in jr. high school. I feel way older than I did in jr. high. I might not act any older, but I feel it. And so, the new era of a legitimate blog begins.

 

Mostly, I just want to use this as a means of keeping myself accountable in my reading of the Word and growth in grace. I feel like i am cheating on my journal(s) by writing here-- whoring myself to the blogsphere. I am a huge lover of good old pen and paper, but lately my hand has been getting sore from writing (Why am I so lame???) and this is an easy way to compile all my journal entries into one nice summary thing.

 

Tiffany and I read "The Sinfulness of Sin" by Ralph Venning over break. Aside from Scripture itself, this is probably the craziest book on sin one will ever read. It defines what sin is, the results of sin, how terrible those things are (ie. Hell, Satan, etc.), and then explains how and why sin is even worse than those things. It was a scary yet wonderful read. The 'sinfulness' of sin and its damning affects are clearly presented while at the same time the Gospel is magnified. How amazing it is that God would love such a sinner as I!

 

As for the title of this blog, it came from the story of the prodigal son and the book. When speaking of the contrariety of sin to the attributes of God, namely His supreme sufficiency, Venning writes, "Every prodigal who leaves the Father's house says in effect, 'It is better to be elsewhere.'" Though i am that prodigal, who daily abuses God's grace, who spits upon the face of the crucified Saviour each time I sin; I know that because of Christ's death on the cross, my sins are atoned for and I can stand righteous before a holy, wrathful, almighty God. I pray that as i continue to grow in my love for God and my knowledge of Him, that the Gospel would saturate every aspect of my life and cause me to always marvel at Christ's glorious grace.

Thank you God, for being merciful to me, the sinner.

T.